Let the s%$t hit the fan

 Here is the first exchange between my dad and myself over the events of conference weekend.

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Date: Mon, 4 Oct 2010 12:23:36 -0700
From: dad
Subject: Church
To: me

Sean: I thought this should be more private than facebook. Sean it is very obvious to me that due to your upbringing you follow church events to see if any change may occur that would help you again identify with the LDS church. Sean, you need to stop torturing yourself this way. Focus on the good in your life not the negative. Focus on how you can do what you can now, not with who you were or where you've been.   DAD

My Response:

Dad,

Thanks for your concern.  On the contrary my only awareness about the recent yet regular stupidity of the church is via my circle of friends and aquaintences.  Yes, nearly all of them are gay and yes many of them have LDS backgrounds. Some of them still think they can fight the good fight and conquer their "gay sin" as Boyd K. Packer suggested this weekend.  I have no desire what so ever to reunite or rekindle past associations with the church.  They could marry gays in the temple today and I would not go within 1,000 miles of the church.  I never fit in to their picture of "how the world and eternity is supposed to be" and will not make any future attempts to do so.  I cannot, however, stand by and let the gross intolerance and injustices of the church be perpetuated.  They are wrong and as was seen in California they are dangerously powerful - politically and financially.  To have tens of thousands of members give of their finances (some surrendering tens of thousands of dollars of their children's college fund to the church) time and professional resources, all for the cause of blocking my rights and encouraging government endorsement of their faith without questioning their leaders, motives, or the consequences of their actions on society is a freightening thing.

I will not give in to my LDS indoctrination of "bowing my head and saying yes" and turning a blind eye to letting these men endorse on the world stage taking away my freedoms while spreading and promoting hate, fear, and repression to my gay 'brothers and sisters' in the name of their "one true faith."  Mormonism, apparently, has yet to learn from the historic atrocities committed by the other "one true church," Roman Catholicism.  You say to focus on the good.  Isn't fighting for the right thing focusing on the good?  Isn't working towards equality so that others may not have to suffer and go what I went through reaching for a better tomorrow?  I am doing what I can now, but I often feel it is not enough.

As I have told some of my friends, if the bills could still get paid, I would give up everything for this cause.  It IS that important!  If sharing all of what I have gone through in my life saves but one struggling gay youth or adult, or causes one member of the church to stop and think before judging or voting to "protect traditional marriage/families" while denying me my happiness then it is worth all of the challenges.

Much love,
~Sean~