"Do as I'm doing"... or else.

This is what happens if you don't do as you're told.

Giving Thanks or ?

In talking with some of my fellow MoHomies I find it fascinating that some have such and optimistic outlook on life.  Especially some of the ones that are in some difficult situations as I once was.  In one particular chat on Facebook I was groaning how the holidays this year are probably going to be the worst ever.  Things are usually bad enough as I remember the anniversary of my mom's death (12 years come Dec. 1).  But this year I get to add to that the additional angst of having been through a rough bout with finding myself, attempted suicide, business issues, divorce, seeing an ex move on before the divorce, and being very alone.

When my dad called to extend the invitation of being on the other side of the mountains for Thanksgiving at their house I was a little apprehensive.  With all that has gone on this year I'm not in very much of a festive, let alone grateful mood.  Especially with a 3.5 hour drive just to get there.  Perhaps sensing my reluctance my dad sweetened the deal a little by saying "you're also welcome to bring a 'special' friend  if you want."  Now the gesture in and of itself is huge coming from my still very LDS dad.  Yet at the same time it felt more like a knife in my back now that I no longer have anyone to share my life with.  The odds of my status going from single and available to happily taken are not likely to change any time soon short of a miracle occurring.  God if you're up there are you listening?

So it just added to my weight of the holiday season.  It's bad enough feeling the loneliness in and of itself with out adding an entirely new helping of personal guilt for not being "good enough" for anyone to even go on a date with.  In talking with Good to be free we were going on about how being gay is difficult enough but being (ex) Mormon and gay makes and already small pool of fish evaporate almost entirely.  Since there are plenty of us who don't smoke or drink, and aren't interested in the one night stands (although even then I'm feeling myself wanting to slip there too), it places with us a certain stigma in the community for not being "stereotypically gay."  So what is a poor lost boy to do?  I have no answers but I would love for Santa to leave me a boyfriend for Christmas.  It's the only thing on my list this year.

Come Home

Soon eyes will be turning to the State of Washington as we have our own version of California's Prop. 8 debacle.  While the opponents of preserving domestic partnership laws (which is what voting yes of Referendum 71 will do) take the stance this is about "preserving traditional marriage between a man and a woman," defeating this measure will nullify domestic partnership regardless of sexual orientation.

It is clear that the protect marriage camp is attempting to make this an anti gay issue.  With support from many anti gay churches and organizations this may be but a first attempt to return to the 1970's and push gays back in to the closet and out of society.  To those who still don't get it, gays are here to stay!

Professor Patrick M. Chapman, Ph.D. and author of "Thou Shalt Not Love: What Evangelicals Really Say to Gays"was guest speaker this month for Tacoma PFLAG. He discussed the origins of marriage in several cultures and how many other societies look at those of different sexual orientation or gender identity.  It was interesting to note that the US is actually one of the furthest behind western civilization world superpowers when it comes to gay rights.  He commented if a country like South Africa can have gay rights ahead of the US there is something terribly wrong with the country purported to have the most freedom.  And what is it preventing equality yet again in this great country of ours?  Yet again as it was for African Americans and many other minorities, it fear stirred up by religious conservatives.

Naturally the discussion at PFLAG went the discussion of how religion enters the picture as in many pacific island cultures those who we would label as gay are often put in to religious roles such as shaman and the like.  We heard about Professor Chapman's experience in a nondenominational church that outed him in front of the entire church while he was in the company of friends and students and was not out publicly.  Of course the church wanted to change, I mean "help" him.  The discussion  naturally led to Ref. 71.  Apparently the opponents of domestic partnership have released a new commercial with copyrighted images from the LDS church.  While I have not seen said commercial the comment was made that in all probability the Mormon church is quietly supporting the anti partnership platform.

To all of my gay brothers and sisters Mormon or not out there.  Get off your hindquarters and register to vote.  Allowing our rights to be taken away by the homophobic, the bigots, the misguided religious conservatives, or just the uninformed will allow the Anita Bryants of the 1970's to return to the 21st century to push us out of society.

Defend our freedom and vote that "all men are created equal and are given certain inalienable rights." 

Vote for all to keep their homes and their families safe from those seeking to destroy the family unit just because it is not like theirs.  Make your voice heard that the words of the constitution will never be erased or the words written at the base of the Statue of Liberty may forever beckon all to "come home."

"Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me.
I lift my lamp beside the golden door."