The Heavens are Shut

Image by: cjohnson7 at http://flickr.com/photos/72621973@N00/1460568819

Please see Rob's excellent post and remembrance of Stuart Matis at Scrum Central.

I think it fitting to once again point out the lack of such desperately needed "modern revelation" amongst the Mormon church in regards to the issue of homosexuality. As Rob very astutely points out, the church has been swinging back and forth over this issue for decades.  In consideration of the church's posturing amongst other Evangelical and Fundamentalist Christian groups so as to attain some degree of political clout, it is clear to see the church leadership is unwilling to officially pick a side and stick to it.

My devout LDS readers may be further offended, but one with eyes to see and ears to hear can see that in this issue alone the modern revelation channel the church subscribes to does not seem to be working. If it is the Lord's "one and only true church on the face of the earth" why is he not speaking to Mr. Monson, who is charged with speaking to the Lord on this important topic? How many more need to die needlessly before a convenient revelation comes? The heavens were never open to the leaders of the church. This is but another sad chapter in the history of Mormonism.  The charisma of Joseph Smith with his quick and creative intellect to generate "revelation" at just the right time are but faded pages in the history of the church.

Scripture and intellectual dishonesty

In reading another fellow moho's blog the following topic came to mind.  While no disrespect is intended to those still trying to reconcile with the church I find the mental gymnastics some go thru rather fascinating.  The poster was commenting about a BYU professor who was of course a faithful member yet a thorough archaeologist.  When of course having a discussion about the lack of archaeological evidence around the BoM it was asked of the professor how do you remain faithful when the "proof" doesn't exist.  The professor's response was "I wear two hats."

The blogger went on to explain how they rationalized being in the church when it's keystone is not a book that may or may not be fiction, but solely upon faith, truth and evidence being irrelevant to that faith.

I find myself getting in to regular verbal sparring matches on Youtube with the blindly devout members and self proclaimed experts (aka "apologists") on the various vagaries of Mormonism.  It is really quite amazing the intellectual tail chasing such people do to find the most unsubstantial "proof" they can and qualify it buy being fact and  legitimate evidence.  Such things by these apologists are usually only quotes of some other member or apologist working at one of the fiction mills associated with not proving the credibility of Mormonism and all its claims, but trying to poke wholes in legitimate and reliable science practices that disprove overwhelmingly the church.  Really the whole thing and all the flows from it is nothing but one large and relentless ad hominem attack.

But the resulting issue remains.  If the church is in fact true why does it need so many people running around shoring up the dam and putting out doctrinal fires of the past?  I would think the church would not allow any defensive organizations to be "unofficially" spreading confusion through illogical and inconclusive findings and publishings.  But of course the church has said official doctrine comes from the First Presidency with a *wink wink and a nudge to the apologists and general authorities.  If Mormonism is true why the intellectual dishonesty?  Are we not to be honest in thought, word, and deed?  Wouldn't God have given some small scrap of something tangible to support faith?  We still have existing cultures and places from Old and New Testament times but yet not a shred of anything from Book of Mormon history has ever been found or will ever likely to be.

I'm sure in due course we will be hearing from the faith promoting justification leagues of people (that get a biased BYU education to lend credibility to their unscientific garbage) who shall still go unnamed as I don't want them to get any publicity on my watch, will start rationalizing the spiritual customs of early american civilizations.  Some how "The Great Spirit" is going to end up an apologist publication with more even more of the mental razzle dazzle saying "see Christ did come to the Americas - that's what the native cultures mean. This proves the church is true and why we need to give the remnants of the Lamanites the gospel again." Mark my words it's heading that way.

I'll use my favorite line again... "Truth needs no buttress."

Church and Family

 

I happened to be thinking about what it is that ties us together. That thing that makes family what it is.  My family is not what you would consider one of "closeness."  If anything we probably try to avoid eachother on most situations.  I'm sure my coming out hasn't helped in that area either.  But I have stopped to ponder why is it that we are so isolated, to the point of not even regularly talking to one another.  

Not surprisingly it seems many answers begin and end with the church.  It was the church the brought us all together and it was also what has ultimately divided us.  Despite proclamations on the family and other official sanctions approving of the stereotypical Mormon family things did not end up as church leaders have supposed they would be.  The promises of the church have failed incredibly.

My dear mother, who has been gone for 12 years now (my has it been that long?), was the one that held it all together and the church was the glue.  It was her faithfulness that kept it all pieced so carefully together.  She ran herself ragged trying to make our home live up to the Mormon standards of family and it wasn't easy.  Now that the tie in to the church is missing I suppose it is no wonder we've scattered to the winds.

My dad still goes to church on a fairly regular basis, but it seems more out of habit then out of sincereity as one of the faithful.  My sister however has taken quite the church plunge.  She seems to be determined to out mom our mom in the church faithfulness department and making darn sure her children are well established in the church "lest they be lost to the wolves." I think it is just over compensation.

The rift between us all seems to be an ever widening chasm.  I once thought my sister, the scientist and teacher, was the sanest out of the family, but her blind faith in church doctrine trumped that of family and love.  I doubt that the day will come where I will be accepted as I am by her.  We all know what it's like to be shunned by our family members "hyper active" in the church.  In they eyes of one of my own siblings, I am a walking "abomination" willingly sinning over a "choice to love men" instead of women.  I am null and void to God's plan and the plan of salvation and my departed relatives weep for my poor choices.  Or so I'm lead to believe.

How the "perfection" of Mormonism has soured my family to be distant and removed at best, and hateful, bigoted, biased, and unloving at the worst.  This is the fruit of the "traditional Mormon family," that which espouses only heterosexuals make a family and good Mormon families should protect marriage from same sex couples.

When I'm with my BF there is more love there than I have felt in my entire some 30 years of existence.  I can even begin to process what I feel in the relationship.  But I know that's where I belong.  And yet I think about what it is the people are trying to protect in blocking "gay marriage."  There really isn't anything worth saving in my family unity.  No amount of "protecting marriage and 'traditional family values' is going to change how I'm viewed or loved in my family.  Neither will it change where Mormonism still fails to understand one of the most important commandments - unconditional love. 

My family is who ever accepts me for who I am. Not where I come from and who I'm related to.  I wish I had a bigger "family."  I long to be with more of those who love me for me.

Tommy's Story

 Tommy shares with talk show host Laura Lavigne
his life journey of being gay and growing up in the Mormon Church.
Listen to Tommy's story here

"Do as I'm doing"... or else.

This is what happens if you don't do as you're told.

Service of Hope

Just got back from yet another service at church.  That's 3 for those playing the home game - about 7 hours worth of church including some planning and rehearsal time.  Annually we have a service of hope for those that struggle with the season.  Some experience loss, other despair, and some just find this time of year hard.  While I'm usually at this service to play the musical portion anyhow it seemed rather apropos that I be there after all that has gone on this year.

It is a service that even in the best of times is difficult for me to get through.  I darn near lost it this year.  That cauldron of emotions began to bubble yet again.  But I have to keep it together to play the service.  Praise God for some degree of maturity and focus to be able to channel those feelings in to rather poignant improvisations on selected Advent and Christmas tunes.

At one portion of the service the refrain of a hymn was used as a response to stories and scriptures of heartache that were shared.  I share it with you:

    

      Healer of our every ill,
        Light of each tomorrow,
        give us peace beyond our fear,
        and hope beyond our sorrow.

To all of my fellow gays be they Mormon, non-Mormon, or ex-Mormon I light my candle for myself and for all of you who struggle through the holiday season as I do.  May we all find peace in Christ and his promise of hope beyond our sorrow.

I'm alive

To those who have been so kind as to send notes of concern I am alive.  I have been out of town all this week and suffering a little internet withdrawal too.  But anyhow I'm still here despite it being the busy season for me.  Lots of concerts and performances.