Sunday, December 6, 2009

Service of Hope

Just got back from yet another service at church.  That's 3 for those playing the home game - about 7 hours worth of church including some planning and rehearsal time.  Annually we have a service of hope for those that struggle with the season.  Some experience loss, other despair, and some just find this time of year hard.  While I'm usually at this service to play the musical portion anyhow it seemed rather apropos that I be there after all that has gone on this year.

It is a service that even in the best of times is difficult for me to get through.  I darn near lost it this year.  That cauldron of emotions began to bubble yet again.  But I have to keep it together to play the service.  Praise God for some degree of maturity and focus to be able to channel those feelings in to rather poignant improvisations on selected Advent and Christmas tunes.

At one portion of the service the refrain of a hymn was used as a response to stories and scriptures of heartache that were shared.  I share it with you:
      Healer of our every ill,
        Light of each tomorrow,
        give us peace beyond our fear,
        and hope beyond our sorrow.

To all of my fellow gays be they Mormon, non-Mormon, or ex-Mormon I light my candle for myself and for all of you who struggle through the holiday season as I do.  May we all find peace in Christ and his promise of hope beyond our sorrow.

Friday, December 4, 2009

I'm alive

To those who have been so kind as to send notes of concern I am alive.  I have been out of town all this week and suffering a little internet withdrawal too.  But anyhow I'm still here despite it being the busy season for me.  Lots of concerts and performances.