Monday, September 21, 2009

Choice or Innate

In the ongoing saga of my sexuality and how those around me accept or reject such a thing I have to put out there the notion of an active choice being made, or what is intrinsically innate to the human condition. With the Mormon contingency of my family there is some level of disagreement on whether being gay is a choice or a characteristic that is not chosen.

While my convert dad doesn't necessarily agree with the lifestyle, despite being a psychiatric practitioner, he is able to be accepting and loving of me as the son I always will be. To the point of being able to "welcome a friend" of mine into his home. My dear sweet sister is a little less open at this point.

While she was not surprised when I came out to her the message of acceptance of my homosexuality was clearly not favorable. It went even to the point of expected behavior should I ever decide to visit them (not any time soon), that I would not try to convince her children that being gay is ok... as if I were some sort of deviant. It always hurts when a family member you come out to treats you as a foreigner once you share your secret. Sad how the cloak of Mormonism and doing unto others only seems to apply when you are straight. As soon as the wild card of gayness gets played all bets are off.

Really it does come down to being true followers of Christ and being able to love unconditionally. Good Mormons often come from the "hate the sin, love the sinner camp." But of course such action is conditional love. We as human beings aren't able to compartmentalize the actions or choices of the ones we love from their identity. This is where so many LDS people fall short of their discipleship. As long as the status quo is appeased then there is no issue. I hope in at least my situation the some time and thought will bring other family members around. To at least realize that I'm still the same person. Being gay does not make me a criminal, pedophile, promiscuous, or just plain distrustful. Neither does it mean I intend to recruit your children in to being gay. No, it's not a communicable disease.

I only hope others will give pause to ponder the true example of love and fellowship Christ gave.

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